WHAT PHOENIX IS NOT!

Phoenix is not a modern franchise of martial arts or a fitness industry tokenised product, a place for ego’s and macho development or your movie watching video game playing wanna be super hero black belt wearing ninja movie star kung fu master certificate giving 12 year old black belt wearing mind melding death touch using money taking fancy kicking one punch doing, bought the shorts got the tap out shirt did a two week course in Thailand, meet a Gracie did a seminar with Bruce Lee, got a black belt in three styles trained in the backyard with the secret klingon special forces who cloned Krav Maga with Spetnez after visiting an army base in a CIA t'shirt, first time released to the public course and have a friend who is a world champ who taught me in the back yard after receiving his 18th dan from a 27 year old master who once won a non contact forms demonstration world championship held in Queenbeyan, against a guy from Greece (who has lived in Charnwood for 12 years), come to train in your gym for the benefit of everyone already there so I can just join into any class and jump straight into competing as a professional because I memorised every word of Monkey Magic and own every issue of Black Belt magazine since Karate was invented and I actually believe that doing non contact martial arts in a pyjama outfit and winning a competition at point sparring makes me a martial artist and as tough as the karate kid and although I am a nerd I can be like Darth Vader and Harry Potter because they started out as nerds but did a Jedi course in fighting magic and I can measure the quality of a martial Art school by the amount of black belt wearing unfit people teaching the classes to copy each other and perform memorised movements in choregraphed scenes because if I ever get the chance to audition for an extra in karate Kid 12 I will have a shot because I have 14 certificate’s and payed to grade every month to finish my black belt course in 12 months and signed up 24 other gullible people to my amway Kmart karate system that sounded more authentic when we count in Korean, have Japanese characters and a fancy name that I got from the local Chinese restaurant waiting for my noodles reading the I-Ching to add a philosophy degree to my deadly fighting skills type of person, who has visited the Shaolin Temple and learnt the true forgotten art by osmosis and believe that all my potent chi power will save my life in a real fight  because I read the encylopedia of martial arts and have UFC on playstation, so I know what to do in every fight and as I comment about it on facebook and sports blitz  I must be an expert and are not phased by the fact that my only experience with anything resembling contact sport is the contact I have with myself